I constantly feel like I need to go somewhere else to feel like me or experience something that makes me feel like me. For some reason I do not believe that being in the place in which I live my everyday life will let me be me. I don't attribute it to the classic "I don't belong here syndrome." I simply think that I constantly project what I want to experience onto other places besides the place that I actually exist. So yesterday I decided that I was going to go experience me right smack in the middle of where I am. I got up early, took a shower, put on my favorite dress, plugged in The Killers, and set off five miles down the road to Valdese. I parked and just started walking.
Little cute Valdese with its Antique stores lining Main Street, beauty shops, thrift stores, and the random doll store that scares the living crap out of me. This is where I would be me for the day. So I walked and walked up and back down Main Street in the sun. I floated in and out of the Antique stores that I usually never visit since most of their items are thrifted and jacked up in price. But every once in a while I would catch the reflection of this girl, woman now, in the mirrors I thought of how much I liked her. I saw me and I really loved the me looking back. I found a few old suitcases, a pair of penny loafers/oxfords, an old moose pendant necklace, and was really just enjoying the findings. I was enjoying speaking to the shop owners, I bought myself a mini sourdough BBQ sandwich and sat out in the sun to enjoy it, I bought a hat, I sang "I Want to Hold Your Hand" as I walked to fountain, and I loved the company of me.
I think I should spend more time with myself.